what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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