'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
