Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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