can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize