I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize