all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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