he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize