Got a toothbrush?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
