when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize