I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
bring money and cleavage
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
God, I missed his penis.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
