Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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