my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
