Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
