just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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