i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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