girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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