God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We have so much sex to catch up on
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
