so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
should my penis look like a turkey
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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