btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
