I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Who died my cat blue again?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
