her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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