For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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