so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
