I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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