I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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