Plan B is the new Plan A
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
