I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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