YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
