Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
