Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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