roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
