just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
