dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
