I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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