Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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