dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
