he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
There's always time for handjobs
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
