she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
