i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
