none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Randomize
