i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
