Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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