I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dignity is for republicans.
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You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
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When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
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