The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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