You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
