so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
