He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
