So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
