Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
