Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
