I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
