someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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