she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize