I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
