I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
