community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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