I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
