That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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