Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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