K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
