He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
