Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
