Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
