Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.